Today’s blog doesn’t relate to writing or dogs at all. Today’s blog is about Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, a band that got me through so many dark hopeless nights that I could never put their impact on me into words. He passed away yesterday 7/20/2017 from an apparent suicide. I’m still processing this, so if this comes out choppy or hard to follow sorry.
I found out about it on my lunch break while scrolling through FB. I thought it was a hoax, until on my next 15 I checked my news feed again and it was everywhere. I went through the rest of my shift in a fog, and I didn’t even realize why. Celebrity deaths happen, and they’ve never bothered me before. But as the hours passed I realized this was hitting me deep, real deep.
The first time I heard Chester’s voice was on MTV. “Crawling” played, and between his voice and the visuals I was hooked. I scrounged up every spare cent to buy their album. I can’t tell you how much those songs helped me.
Like most writers… fiction at least, I had some really rough lonely hopeless messed up times. I can’t count the number of nights I would glance at the boxcutter that I always kept in my nightstand, shook my head, and then turned their music on loud and listened to it until I felt like I could breathe again. His music saved me, and I’m devastated that it couldn’t save him.
His life before fame was so much worse than even my worst years. All that anger and sadness in his music came from a real place and you could feel it. It made millions of us realize we weren’t alone. It gave our feelings a voice, and I’m sure I’m not the only one it saved.
The world is a much sadder place now that he’s gone. I’ll never forget him or his music. I’ll always remember the voice saved me from the very fate he succumbed to and hate the injustice of it. I hope he’s in a better place where his pain can’t touch him anymore.
RIP Chester Bennington – You will be missed